When most people hear hypnotherapy, they think stage shows… swinging watches… maybe someone clucking like a chicken.

But what if it’s actually one of the most practical tools for what women are struggling with in midlife?

As hormones shift, our brains literally rewire. Some things get way better… like speaking our truth finally. But some things, that aren’t so welcome, get much louder. It’s coming from the subconscious mind.

My guest today is Amanda Cole, an Award Winning Accredited Transformational Hypnotherapist based in the UK.

How Does One Become a Hypnotherapist?

It’s been a huge part of Amanda’s life for about 14 years now. It started after her mum passed away. She was looking for counselling at the time and thinking about leaving her corporate role to become a bereavement counsellor.

And then hypnotherapy kind of found her.

It allows you to go much deeper into your well-being by working with the subconscious mind—not just the conscious mind—and that’s where real change can happen.

A big part of the work is understanding what the “habit brain,” which is really the subconscious.

Hypnotherapy for Grief

Hypnotherapy allows one to reconnect with memories in a much deeper way. Things that the adult brain has maybe pushed aside or forgotten.

One of the most powerful sessions Amanda had was being able to have that final conversation with her mum—the one she didn’t get in real life.

Because the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined, it felt like she truly had that conversation. And that gave her such a deep sense of comfort and completion.

What Hypnotherapy Really Is

There is science behind hypnotherapy, because a lot of people picture stage hypnosis— someone being made to cluck like a chicken on a stage in Las Vegas.

That’s stage hypnosis, and it’s very different from what Amanda and I discussed.

Hypnotherapy is a form of talk therapy, like counselling or psychotherapy. But what we’re doing is using techniques to bring the brain into a slower, more relaxed state. That allows us to access the subconscious mind.

From there, we can offer suggestions—sometimes gentle, sometimes more direct—depending on what the client needs.

Amanda has worked with people on sleep issues, anxiety, even physical symptoms like nausea related to anxiety. But what really matters is going deeper—looking at the root causes behind those symptoms.

Because once you address what’s underneath, the surface issues often resolve themselves.

Feeling “Not Enough” – It’s Universal

There are common patterns—especially around conditioning.

There’s often a deep sense of not feeling “enough,” or a lack of self-worth underneath it all.

And midlife is such a significant transition. It’s not talked about enough, but women are seeking support during this time because so much is shifting—not just hormonally, but subconsciously.

We often talk about the hormonal changes, but those changes amplify what’s already there. Everything becomes heightened.

The part of the brain that regulates emotions, memories, and survival responses becomes more activated. So emotions can feel more intense, and old memories or limiting beliefs start to resurface.

It’s almost like the veil between the conscious and subconscious mind starts to thin. Things that have always been there suddenly come to the surface—self-doubt, intrusive thoughts, old conditioning.

That’s why so many women feel more anxious or overwhelmed during this stage of life.

The Midlife “Veil” and Deeper Awareness

From a scientific perspective, the amygdala—our fight-or-flight center—has receptors for estrogen. So when hormone levels drop, that system becomes more reactive. Things that didn’t bother us before suddenly feel overwhelming.

But there’s also another perspective.

As we age, we start to loosen our attachment to the physical world. In yoga philosophy, we talk about the Atman—the part of us that isn’t limited to this body.

So as that attachment softens, the boundary between what’s logical and tangible and what’s more subtle starts to dissolve.

And that can feel unsettling.

That’s where that feeling of loss of control comes in. You start questioning everything—what really matters, how you want to live, whether you want a slower, more peaceful life.

A lot of the women I work with are asking those deeper questions, even if they come in with something like sleep issues or anxiety.

How We Typically Cope

And when all of this is happening—when the subconscious is more active and emotions are heightened—we become more vulnerable to coping behaviors.

Overeating, over-drinking, over-shopping, over-exercising… anything that helps us avoid what’s coming up.

That’s why there’s such a need for tools that help us work with the subconscious instead of against it.

In my work, I use things like yoga nidra, breathwork, and meditation.

Learn more

Hypnotherapy is an intriguing addition to this toolbox.

What a Hypnotherapy Session Looks Like

The first session is really about understanding you. You’ll spend about 90 minutes talking—going deep into your story, your patterns, your beliefs, and how you see yourself and the world.

Yes, we talk about the surface issues like sleep or emotional eating, but we’re really looking for what’s underneath. A key question is: is there a part of you that’s been hidden or silenced for a long time?

Because in midlife, that part is often trying to come forward.

From there, we move into hypnosis over a series of sessions—usually around six, but it depends on the person.

Inside the Hypnosis Experience

During hypnosis, you’re guided into a deeply relaxed state.

That might involve breathwork, progressive muscle relaxation, or visual techniques like imagining yourself walking down steps.

Once you’re in that state, Amanda uses imagery, metaphor, and personalized scripts to communicate with the subconscious. The subconscious doesn’t respond well to direct commands—it responds to stories, symbols, and imagery.

And sometimes, very powerful things happen.

People can have emotional releases—crying, physical sensations, even movement in the body. That often signals resistance, which is actually really valuable information.

Because the subconscious is always trying to keep you safe. Even unhealthy patterns can feel “safe” because they’re familiar. So when we try to change them, there can be resistance—and that’s something we work through together.

Making Peace with Your Subconscious

What I love about this work is that it helps you build a relationship with your subconscious. Because it’s not the enemy—it’s just trying to protect you.

When you understand that your subconscious is wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and keep things the same, it makes so much sense why change feels hard.

But when you start working with it instead of fighting it, everything shifts. You become more resilient. More adaptable. More at peace with yourself.

How to Work with Amanda

Amanda offers a free 30-minute heart-to-heart call so you can talk about what’s going on and see if it’s a good fit. I love that—a heart-to-heart. Because honestly, so many women in midlife feel unseen or alone in what they’re experiencing. Having someone who really listens and knows how to guide that conversation can be incredibly powerful.